How long have you been married?
Nikki & Alan: We’ve been married for 1 year and 1 month.
How did you guys meet?
Nikki: We met through a mutual friend.
What were your first impressions of each other?
Nikki & Alan: From the first time we saw each other we literally haven’t left each other’s sides. When we had our first kiss, while I closed my eyes I saw me standing in front of him in a wedding dress. In my mind I knew he was the one. We didn’t even have time for first impressions but we just knew it was RIGHT.
What made you want to get married?
Nikki: Well I knew that I would never find anyone else to make me feel the way he does! I wasn’t sure at first and neither was he but with time I began to see that he was my balance and my EQUAL and that life wouldn’t be the same without him in it, not to mention we have children and we are also very spiritual and knew that we had to do things the right way in order to receive favor from God. Alan: There many factors that went into our decision to marry but the most important was love for each other love for our kids and love for our God!
How did you propose?
Alan: LOL. Well there were two proposals; the first proposal was in front of her mother’s house. We sitting outside on her mom’s porch and I just looked at her and said “Will you marry me?” There was no ring and we had only been dating just 2 weeks. She said “NO” of course. LOL. The official proposal was while we were at home, just she and I. We were in deep conversation about life and what we wanted out of it and she turned around and I was on one knee looking at her with puppy dog eyes. LOL. I asked her again and this time she said YES and she knew then that I really meant it the first time too!! Oh and this time I had a ring…A NICE ONE, LOL.
How does your faith play into your marriage?
Alan: God comes first so we must abide by his laws outside of the respect we have for each other. Nikki: I know I must stand beside my husband and follow God’s rules when it comes to being married and how we treat each other.
Do you have any marriage survival tips?
Nikki & Alan: Communicate. It’s the most important part. We tend to hide pieces of ourselves. Be open to vulnerability and understand that marriage is a lifelong commitment that cannot be taken lightly. You’re going to fight, you’re going to get on each other nerves but nothing but death should separate you.
How do you keep the fire burning in your relationship?
Nikki & Alan: We like to role play to keep it fresh and talk a lot to stay close and in tune with what the other one wants. You have to pay attention to each other. Know their desires and be open to doing something different.
Why do you think African Americans have the lowest marriage rate, but the largest divorce rate?
Alan: We have become lost and gotten deterred from following our core values. We use to cherish marriage and had more respect for our women but when the women don’t hold themselves to a higher esteem men don’t feel they deserve the title or respect of being a wife.
If you were giving advice to a couple who wanted to get married, what would you say?
Nikki: I would tell them to seek premarital counseling first because there are some coping and other skills that you need to learn before getting married.
What does marriage mean to you?
Nikki & Alan: Dedication, work, and love. It is a journey that has endless possibilities.